December's December

Would you think me a liar if I told you that I like blogging?
In the class I mentioned in my previous post (what was that... a month ago? Oh 4) we did a decent amount of blogging. I liked making creative titles, swirling people around in my thoughts and arguments. I could pretend to be a professional, writing like I had an audience of intellectuals who'd roll their eyes along with me and laugh silently under their breath about the quip I made defending Tom Lutz and the printed word. In another one of my classes we talked heavily about writing, composition, and rhetoric. Rhetoric is king. Even just that statement, broken down--short, assigning supremacy, acting as if it is fact and not opinion--is rhetoric at work.
The one concept from that class that I keep turning back to in my mind is the role of academic discourse as well as abnormal discourse. What it really works out it is the way in which people push into ideas and concepts, get lost, get confused, make mistakes, say stupid things, say inspired things without a full meaning, and continue to carry these exclamations/proclamations with them in their minds until they reach a point of understanding. It all becomes a process in which you work through to better understand something, anything, and then reach a point of clarity where you can offer up a well-reasoned discussion.
If you apply this technique to almost anything in life it serves as a nice reminder that you've got to wade through a lot of unknowing (aka shit) before you can reach a point of clarity or dare I say.....TRUTH!
(I realize at the surface this can seem obvious and apparent but a lot of what I took from this class was the importance of breaking down the obvious, understanding it wholly, and then putting it back together in its apparent position)

I just wanted to share that with you guys. My 2+ audience members. Don't even get me started on audience.
This semester I found myself enjoying writing essays more than usual. In my post-modern Brit lit class I went to crazy lengths to develop a complex multi-layered thesis because deep down I wanted to writing something that put up a fight. Hurl any scoffs you might have at this moment because of my overt 'English major-ness.'

Looking down from space....2011 was actually a good year. I think people are giving it extra crap because nothing too spectacular happened. In the movie world we didn't get any groundbreaking releases. I avoid making lists. I don't think I saw enough films this year to make a top 10. But I can tell you, as of now, Drive is my clear favorite of the year.

I had sort of envisioned this as a year end wrap up post. But what do I have to wrap up? Life is still moving forward.

Pictures!
















2011, two thousand and eleven, was a year of consistent living. Which is arguably better than a year of consistent dying.
Things start to make sense when you reach the end of one tunnel and prepare to go into another one.

The tunnel is a metaphor.

Penis doctor.

The Rotation is Complete

I cannot wait to be done with college. It needs to end, preferably sooner than later.

This senior thesis project is seriously destroying my life. I've been putting about 40 hours a week into it since August, and progress is just so unbearably slow. Over Thanksgiving break I was working constantly on it and I barely got anything done. I made some palm trees move. That was honestly about it.

I know I'm bitching, but man I really need to bitch about this.

It's been on my mind more than usual because I'm scheduled to start animation the beginning of December and it's flat out, absolutely, no way in hell, going to happen. I don't even know how many more months I would need before I'd feel okay with going onto animation. I don't think I know numbers that high.

And it's awful because I'm doing it entirely by myself, and honestly, I don't know enough. Everything I try and do something I have to research from somewhere, and you would be amazed at how shitty some people are at explaining stuff.

Here's an excerpt:

once the bottle is filled to the level you want, export the circle emitter particles as a single .bin file and set that state as initial state.
then unlock the timeline lock and hit A or click on simulate, go for a ciggy break or take your dog for a walk.
the liquid will simulate along with the animated bottle movements.
after the simulation is over you need to add a mesh and convert the particles to mesh (one more big set of trial and error parameters, heheh...)
Import the mesh created in RealFlow into Maya using NextLimit Mesh Loader.

I painfully made it through the bulk of this tutorial when I got to the "using NextLimit Mesh Loader" and had a pause as I realized I had no clue what the was. So I looked it up. And, of course, there is no documentation anywhere online that says what it is. Not even a hint.

I found a workaround several hours later and I got every thing all set and I rendered my scene out (just a test scene of about 50 frames) and when I finally saw it being played I noticed it looked weird. The scene was just a moving bottle filled with orange soda. The orange soda part being the nonsense that was so hard to make. But as the bottle was moving, the soda was just sort of floating there. Apparently I had forgot to turn gravity on.

Why the FUCK isn't gravity on by default?

God, dammit this shit makes me so angry. That's an entire day's worth of work and it looks bad because there's no gravity.


Cursing is my armor this semester. I'm sorry my mouth is so foul.

Happy Halloween!

Hey Blog, it's been a while. You've been missing out. Things have been changing, both good and bad I guess. The garage has been awfully lonely these days. Luckily a few 21-age related activities brought it back a little bit, plus Michael's 22nd B-day. I miss the good old garage days. So simple, so fun. We went from garage, to blog, to SC2, and now winding down college with light drinking. What's next? Girlfriends? Hah, no. Not any time soon at this rate. But we hope. Anyways, it's Halloween. 2011. Not the best year for Halloween. Way to much hw/projects. Don't get me started on my Great Recession vs. Great Depression paper. It be way to Hogan. So no Halloween TCR this year. But it's all good. We've done several good October hangouts. Just wait, next Halloween I won't be in school....now that's even scarier than Halloween.

Alright Blog. Have a good one. I'll see you next time I need to procrastinate on some hw.

Casually Reenters the Conversation

I blame my Journalism and New Media class.
All we talk about is blog blog blog, new media iPad blog blog blog web. So clearly it's awesome.
It also makes me think about this old blog. Good o' blog. Weblog. It still holds our memories guys.

To prove my point about the class here is one of our assignments:


Also I had sort of a milestone moment. (Side note, isn't milestone a great word. The literal origins of a mile marking stone entertain me. Just imagine how bored those traveler's children must have been to get super excited at seeing the mile stone! Progress)
I complete the quad of Parking Permit stickers:


What a perfect little foursquare.

We also got to check out iPads for the Journalism class. Not just check out like, "Hey Jimmy come check out my iPad."
We checked them out like a kid checks out a library book not like a dude checks out a chick.
It's sitting next to my iPhone and my Mac. Keep the Jobs alive.

So I didn't really tell anyone in this class that I blog, I have the capacity to blog. Personal blogs (or group in our case) seem different. Better but different.

So how are you all doing?

Listen to Feist.



-Michael

France Blog

I should do a France blog. This is a thought that has reoccurred in my mind for quite some time, but it's hard because there's a lot to write about and not much motivation to write it. As time passed, more things were deemed worth writing about but motivation to write it did not experience a similar increase.

What I'm trying to say is I'm not going to cover everything. You wouldn't WANT me to cover everything.

So let's start off with a basic question- How do you like France?

France is great! Most of the time. You need a qualifier for that statement. See the thing is I'm really not spending a whole lot of time in "France." I'm spending a lot of time at school. An international school. International schools just aren't as much fun as you might think they would be. For one, everyone instinctively clings to people from their country. You can't really help it. It's not like you can just "bond" with these people because most of the time they don't speak English or they don't speak enough French to really get to know them that well. It's just easier to stick with people you're comfortable with. And then, you just notice the differences between cultures more. And it's not endearing, or maybe it is at first but it soon becomes frustrating. Especially if they're Mexican or Italian. I know I'm calling people out here, but seriously. They are hard to live with. They don't even like living with each other. No one should have to live with them. That isn't to say the group of Americans do not have their own bad eggs. But seriously. Italians and Mexicans.

International schools make you racist.

Let's stay on track. So the school is where most of my time is spent. I go Monday through Friday all morning and afternoons on Tuesday and Thursday. All for a measly 12 credits. It's a lot of class and it feels like a complete rip-off, but there's nothing to be done about it. They have a cafeteria which borders on bland to bad so whenever I get the chance to leave the school I'm eager to get some really good authentic French food.

But wait. What is "authentic French food" exactly? It turns out not even the French really know. 3/4 of the time it ends up being bad Italian food and the other 1/4 of the time it's either bread or something really weird that French people half-jokingly enjoy, like tartare or snails. The best food I've had so far was in Italy and (surprisingly) England. They have damn good Indian food in London.

So there are the complaints. There they are. They are done. So what's good about France?

It's gorgeous. Everywhere I've gone so far has been just jaw-dropping beautiful. A lot of places have reminded me of Yosemite. Except on the sea. With beaches. It's really just that good looking.

The train system is great. France has is figured out. It's really easy to get anywhere in France and the trains are always on time.

French people really aren't that bad. So long as you don't need anything from them (like a waiter or a grocery store cashier) they are actually surprising nice and pleasant to be around. I mean, they don't smile or anything, but they don't go out of their way to make you feel bad.

I'm right by the beach. I can't even stress how close I am to the beach. I have this French Civilization class and I sit right by the window and I can see waves breaking. I can see the sea (not ocean, mind you!) from my dorm room. I can hear waves breaking as I go to sleep. There is a lot of beach in my life. Also, apparently every beach in France is a topless beach, which was a little shocking the first time I found that out.

The upshot to going to school so much is that I am getting a lot better at French. I'm definitely not fluent nor am I really at the ability to talk to a French person, but I can at least form sentences and communicate on a very basic level. My English, however, has not been so fortunate. As you may have noticed by reading this blog, my ability to communicate profound statements is, frankly, shitty and getting shittier. So it goes.

To compensate for this, I've been reading a lot. I've read a bunch of books that I will compile into a list here:

Ender's Game (B)
All the Pretty Horses (A)
Freakonomics (A-)
Super-Freakonomics (B)
The Old Man and the Sea (A-)
Fahrenheit 451 (C+)
The Catcher in the Rye (not what I was expecting at all B+)
Slaughterhouse-Five (A goddamn +)
A Walk in the Woods (B+)
Shit My Dad Says (B+)
Neither Here Nor There (B)
The Tao of Pooh (re-read/I'd feel guilty grading it)

and I'm currently reading The Game by Neil Strauss (so far a solid A even though it makes me feel uncomfortable).

When I'm not at school, reading, hanging out with Katie and friends, or traveling I'm either:

Animating (Birds of the Night! Now I'm doing storyboards for my senior thesis)
Grocery Shopping
Doing laundry
Trying to get new music even though the internet is TERRIBLE and it takes forever to download songs. (Michael, your CD saved me a lot of time.)
Playing on my iPod Touch.


Recently (very recently) I've been trying to work out a little bit here and there. This consists of short runs and even shorter sets of push-ups. Unfortunately it's really difficult to find a place to do these things. I don't really like working out in public but there is absolutely no privacy on campus. It's like what going to college probably should have been like in the beginning. Completely cut off from home with no sense of "this is my place." There's no bathroom in the room, which kind of sucks and is hard to get used to. It means, amongst other things, semi-naked walks down the hallway to the showers and half-flushed/not-at-all-flushed toilets. Back on track though-- I wouldn't be surprised if I've lost a bit of weight since I've been in France. I'm really sad about that. I don't like being as skinny as I am, but for the time being there's not a whole lot to be done about it.

I've been traveling around a lot since I've been in Europe. A lot more than I was expecting/probably more than is healthy for me. Pretty much every weekend involves some sort of trip, which is good and fun...but also expensive, time-consuming, and stressful. I spent about a $1000 on spring break. That is a lot of money for me. But, for that I got to see a lot of cool places:

Paris (Disney Paris!)
Brussels
Amsterdam
Venice
Perugia
Syracuse
Pompeii
Rome
and

Ventimiglia.

In fact, I got to see too much of Ventimiglia. I would have gladly preferred not to see Ventimiglia at all, but boy oh boy. I sure got to see it.

Basically the story goes like this, as said by Katie:

After a perfectly sunny morning wandering through the streets of Pompeii, it was finally time to turn ours gazes northward and return to Cannes. Sadly, our plan to arrive in time to get a good night’s sleep was rejected by Lady Fortune - our train from Naples to Rome broke down and we missed our connecting train to Ventimiglia (the view from our seats pictured here).

To clarify, the one hour train from Naples to Rome broke down for half an hour, and we missed our connection by ten minutes.

We were so close, the train was still listed on the “Departures” table when we got off the train in Rome.

(Sad.)

And so, our longest day ever, which began at 5:30 AM in Naples (or, one could argue, had never really ended the night before, since the night train was a step above miserable sleep-wise), continued long into the night, with a train arriving in Ventimiglia just after 1:00 AM the next morning.

And no train leaving Ventimiglia until 4:45 AM.

And so, we spent the most agonizing four and a half hours on the cold, tiled floor of a hallway in Ventimiglia station huddling together for warmth.

I have never been so happy to see a French train in my life as I was that morning.

The above picture was taken on our last train back circa 5:00 AM.

You may remember me saying French trains don't break down. Italian trains, of course, break down all the goddamn, motherfucking, holyshitareyouserious time. It's like their forced to break down. It's like someone wants them to not work. It's like they're...bad trains.

So, Katie and I are a little tired of traveling. We were supposed to travel this weekend for Easter break because we have two free days of travel left on our passes, but neither of us made the initiative to look for places to stay and so ultimately, and to both are delight, we have ended up doing nothing. It's great.

So things are good. Things are very good. I'm definitely having a memorable experience and I'm glad I found the balls to try living abroad for a semester. I probably won't blog again in France. I need to keep some good stories to tell you guys later anyways.

Ying&Yang

Well Well Well. Mr. Blog, we meet again. It's been too long. Unfortunately to fully catch you up on my life over the past 2 months would take years to type out. So I think I will jump around a bit, mainly posting pictures and stuff.

2011

January - Amazing
Februray - Not so great
March - Lame so far
April?

If 2008 was the year of change, 2009 was idk, 2010 was the year of John, then I guess 2011 so far would be the subtle chaos. 2011 is full of joy, pain, and evolution for me. It has major highs and lows, which I am not used to. My emotions run deep this year as my life changes.

January (aka the good stuff)

I wrote a fairly heavily detailed memoir about My January. It started off in major detail and then as school began it just got highlights thrown into a word document. One of these days I will polish it a little more and let everyone read it. This is the memoir Michael referred to in one of his latest blogs. I apologize for never posting my memoirs or any blog post in general in a while. As my mom would say, "Life just gets in the way."

Anyways, my January this year has been the most exciting and new January I have ever had. It seems like a weird month to be exciting, but when everything is new it is. The month was comprised of major travel. I only slept in my own bed for maybe a week or less. My travels included:

Downtown San Diego/Chula Vista - 3 weeks on a Risk Bank Exam for work.
Big Bear - Skiing with Vinay and Jessica and FA retreat in the snow for a weekend.
San Luis Obisbo (however you spell it) - Weekend trip with parents to see sister's new school.
Caspers Regional Park, O.C. - Weekend trip with the Curb Rebels. Also a goodbye tribute to James as he departed to France.

As you can see I did some major traveling around southern California this January. I lived out of my suitcase pretty much. I wish I could go into super detail, as I experienced an immense amount of new things this January, but unfortunately I can't. To sum it up, here are some key words and phrases:

San Diego - Hotels, omeletts, intense bank exam work, great food and dining, leather jacket. The highlight of the month.
Big Bear - Vinay's inability to ski = funny. FA retreat in snow cool.
SLO - Lots of animals. Horses especially.
Caspers - Tank bombardments of cliff sides. Toads. Fun.

January 2011 will always live on in my memory as one of the best months of my 20 year old life.

February

Meh. School. Laziness. Just lots of mediocre stuff. some good, some bad, mostly below average.

March (the low point)

The end of February and March so far have been hell. I got the flu. Thanks for protecting me flu shot.... I got the flu on my three day weekend which was supposed to be used for recovering from my laziness and procrastination from the previous month. In sum, the flu fucked me over and I did horrible on my midterms. especially my ISDS test today. I did so bad on my ISDS test, I daydreamed about public suicide to protest the ridiculousness of the mandatory requirement for students to take a year of ISDS when it helps no one but get stupid foreign teachers a job. (as you can see this is the low points I was referring to in the previous paragraphs).

With one more midterm to go this week, I am motivated to do better in school, not for the fact that I want to, but because I have no choice or I fuck up my future career opportunities. I did the math, I know what I'm talking about. Stupid ISDS.



Let us move on to some happier thoughts.

Pictures!









Last Minute Thoughts:

Last weekend was pretty fun hanging out with Michael, going to FA broomball and getting some good SC2 in. Broomball was fun yet physically painful. Left 2 Die mod on SC2 got me in a tower defense mode.

Songs I've been listening to:

Shake Me Down - Cage the Elephant (Even on a cloudy day!)
Sick of You - Cake
Tighten Up - The Black Keys

I leave you with this:



Till we meet again.

Johnny

When John doesn't post his memoirs people get antsy (a 3-part reflection)

Hey guys. Remember when we used to blog like crazy mofos. Interesting choice of words there but nonetheless. Phraseology and such. You do realize that you have to keep up to stay hip or get left behind to stay retro without even trying. Style is an important aspect of peoples lives who should probably be watching more TV.
If we blogged like we used to then who know, we could have become internet sensations. Can people go viral via blog post? Usually things don't go viral for good reasons though.
This is when I start reflecting. Like a mirror. In winter time. Sorry to borrow/steal/usurp/tapdanceonthegraveof/trounce/confuse/mishandle your thunder John. I got bored and the teetering sickness is still about 50/50.
I think we had a really good time camping. I didn't bring a camera so I don't have pictures. But I have the remembrance. Rembrants' remembrance. I do wonder what the Ranger would have said if he stumbled upon us as we were teamwork lifting each other up onto the opposite side of the ravine. Our woes might have been greater than the toads. Sometimes you think about the woes of smaller creatures. Well I do. About ants. That one time I saw an ant in the shower. My reaction of course was to drown the bastard and watch his tiny ant body swirl into the drain. I consider myself a peaceful person but there is something innate about territory and the instant reaction of wanting to remove something from a place that you feel so rightly belongs to you. Human nature is that way. But then are we granted this power by our higher levels of intelligence? Because we can appreciate and manipulate are we bestowed the rights of claim? I think the answer might be yes. Camping is harmless though. Unless BIC lighters go pop. Maybe we are ants on a grander scale but no one has come along to wash us away yet.
Part 2. I have been reading too much poetry. I don't know how this happened. Well I did register for these classes but I did not think, entering into my higher education that so much time would be dedicated to poetry. I also didn't realize how much I would secretly enjoy it. Poetry does something to the way you think. It makes you make conflated sentences. It makes you look at words and judge them on how long they are and how that makes you feel.
For example, inescapable.
Just the length and the sound and the meaning coming together in strange forces of literary perfection. Just say it. Say it out loud. Inescapable.
feel the word in your mouth. That's another thing, the way words come out. The oral language and how you physically craft words by sounds movements in your mouth. And guess what, you do this all subconsciously. And you learned it all before you can remember.
Say the word freight.
the F sound is a labialdental sound (lips and teeth)
the R sound is Alveolar. (the tongue touches the alveolar ridge which is on the roof of your mouth right behind your top teeth)

Kind of amazing right?

Part 3.
People can't help themselves. Phraseology. Language in context. I am becoming weirdly charmed by language. Our language mainly. I used to think learning another language would be groundbreaking and is such an achievement but even on a singular level of just knowing one language is pretty fantastic. And kind of beautiful. This could still be part 2.
Part 3 can be simple.
I am a lucky person. By being polite enough and being lucky I've got a considerably good hold on myself, here. Sometimes you can lose sight of yourself or why things are the way they are. But the truth is that we all have a good hold on things.

There is no point to this post. Merely an expression.
If we couldn't laugh about it then I'm not sure what we would do.

Poetry makes you want to be cryptic and crafty. Perfect.