A life in sight

We really are at the threshold of life. A point in life where things shift from dependent to independent. But it's easy to believe that we won't truly be on our own and will always have people to support us and guide us. That is mostly true. However what does this independence, this proof of worth, really come down to? Is it to show you got a college degree? Or to show you can make money and manage a lifestyle? For a lot of people that may be all they need. Yet I've never been able to shake a truth that I believe. That I have this essential desire to prove that I can be someone that makes an impact. I honestly consider this my driving life force. So this is what I think about when I think about the future and my past experiences. What it's all going to add up to. Something, right? Well as long as I have something to say about it then Yes, yes it will. I think about writing. I know that I want to write. I know that I want to teach as well, but writing is that unflinching desire that runs inside me. Can I do it? Am I good enough? These are all things I still consider unanswerable. I still have time to figure it all out right? 

Well, Stephen Crane was a famous writer and a great one at that. He died at the age of twenty-eight. Twenty-eight! While I greatly admire this I am also filled with quick panic. Could I write something as profound as one of Crane's works in my lifetime, let alone before the age of thirty? Again, I cannot answer that question. Not right now at least. All I know is I have a lot ahead of me and I will do my best to fill it in ways I find productive and fitting. So I think about legacy, I think about life. I think about growing up. What could be a more beautiful way to reflect upon my childhood and growing up than to relate it with the recent arrival(and not too long arrival of the film) of the trailer for Where The Wild Things Are. Hopefully everyone had a chance to watch it yesterday. I know I did....more than ten times. That trailer and that book and hopefully that movie, gives me only the greatest bittersweet feelings about childhood and imagination. I consider myself a very imaginative person. While I have yet to distribute this imaginative creativity through my medium of choice, some of you may have experienced this fro me at one time or another. I can't go an entire class period without drifting off into space or fighting some futuristic war or sailing in a boat in stormy waters. I can't look at someone and not try to come up with an interesting reason for who they are and why they are here. I also consider myself to have some childish aspects that tie into this imaginative sense. I can't wait to have a child of my own to play toys with. I still watch Spongebob. I at one point memorized the entire script for the Star Tours ride(that might just be the geek in me). But then I wouldn't consider myself childish in other sense of it, the immaturity sense. I see a lot of that these days. Now I'm not saying that I don't have immature tendencies or instances, but I am saying that I see a definite lack in maturity in my present setting that I was hoping would have ended long ago. Alas here we are. 

So what am I trying to say? Life, is a complex and terrifying road. With good and bad complexities and terrifiers. We all pretty much lack a definite sense of direction but we do have strong intentions and desires that will hopefully lead us down the right path. And thats really the best we've got. Even so, we are all full of worth and that's important to understand. So who knows how our lives are going to be in four years? Ten years? Yeah there's a lot of important things to figure out but thats the challenge. We all need a good challenge with the formidable opponent that is Life. 

p.s.

So yeah. I've been thinking a lot and I think this blog is the amazing product of all of that though. Sorry if I started sounding like a life coach or school psychologist. Both of which I'm not or plan to be. I consider this just one soldiers message to another. In the war of Life. 

(I'm sorry I couldn't resist the metaphorgasm.)

All of this thought resulted in another project: a photo collage! 

So please take some time to look at the collage and think about what my minds been thinking as well. (It's big so I didn't want to put it in the post so heres the link---> Life/Collage )

>can you guess where I am, literally? Figuratively I'm the Ballon Kid with the Robot!